this week has been hard. life is hard sometimes. who doesn't know that? no big realization there. but this week...well, it's been ...just hard. lots of thoughts and worries and concerns and wonder and just trying to pray thru it and convince myself that i don't have to control it all and answers will come when i need them to. and well....life is hard. finding compassion is hard. seems like every new day holds a different obstacle that my mind is trying to overcome and my heart is trying to win. it all takes a lot of hard work and this week...well, i'm sick of being a giver. sick of being the bigger person. sick of always stepping up to the plate when needed because...that's who i am. sick of being the first to apologize, the first to make an effort, the first to want to "fix it" sometimes you just need someone to take care of you....you need people to just ....figure it out. and life is full of uncertainty and it's mind boggling and confusing and frustrating and sometimes having it all together is over-rated. that's all. and finding the beauty in it all is overwhelming....yet, i know it's there. hidden beneath the frustration...and deep down inside i know that i'll always be who i am.....reconciling and mending broken hearts, relationships and always being the bigger person for the sake of others and this week it just bites because i want to just say, "HEY! WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!?????"
life is tough.
love is tough.
but even if it's hard to breathe.....at least my lungs are full of air.